3 Things I Learned From 2020

Reflection has become an important practice for me over the years. I understand if some might not want to think back on a year that wreaked utter havoc on society. But I’ve learned sometimes when circumstances breed pain, the only way through is through. When I wish it away, cut it away, or shove it away, it might bring temporary relief. But sooner or later the pain resurrects when I least expect it, and someone I love usually ends up in the crossfire of my emotions. Reflection has helped me avoid that.

What am I carrying with me from 2020?

What have I learned?

How have I grown?

These are some of the questions I’ve wrestled with in curating a few of my most significant take-aways from last year. They’re personal to me, and nothing about these lessons specifically stands out as profound. But I hope my take-aways encourage you to build your own habits of personal reflection.

Lesson #1 - Practice Consistency

Having our firstborn at the onset of the quarantine brought an abrupt halt to “normal” life as we knew it. It was easy to lose our sense of purpose. So, we leaned into the practice of doing the everyday, ordinary things consistently well. And we learned that doing the small things well over long periods of time produces meaningful and sustainable results.

Lesson #2 - Practice Gratitude

I value excellence and continuous improvement, but I’ve learned that there’s a line between excellence and perfectionism. It’s important to know when I’m crossing it, or my relationships and personal well-being suffers. When circumstances feel chaotic, I'm easily drawn to perfectionism as a false sense of control. A practical way for me to actively fight against it is to keep a gratitude list. In the last 12 months, I’ve started each day listing 5 things I was thankful for. It wasn’t life altering, but this simple practice kept the blessings of life on the forefront of my mind.

Lesson #3 - Practice Community

Prior to 2020, I probably never realized how much togetherness can give the illusion of closeness. It feels close when you’re together, but relationships aren't built on togetherness alone. In fact, when you take away togetherness and live in a socially distant world, the true closeness of your relationships becomes painfully obvious. There’s a process of intentional investment required in order to foster this closeness. So as a small step, we’ve recently committed to practicing inviting people to our dinner table each week. We eat good food together. And we intentionally take time to listen to people’s stories.

What are some of the most significant lessons you’ve learned over the past year? The hope is that our lessons change us for the better, and our practices are part of what foster that change. Dallas Willard once said, “Your system is perfectly designed to yield the result you are getting.”

​Your results are a reflection of your practice. What are you practicing in 2021?